Blub...blub....

"Enjoying the rains?" read the scrap from an old school-mate of mine. When I say 'old' I do NOT mean it in terms of bio-physical chronology...in case you lovely ladies out there ARE wondering.

Now that I have demonstrated enough of my desperation...back to the storyline.

"Yea sure!!!!" I typed, ending the reply with a grinning emoticon. This was usually how the tone of my 'conversations' with buddies from my alma mater went....loaded with sarcasm and in the very few, extremely rare cases, expletives; for contrary to what you may have heard / read about me, I AM a true gentleman.

A short 'ping' brought my attention to the reply to my initial response. As I read the letters glowering on the screen, I felt an overwhelming wave of nausea coming up, getting ready to come crashing down.

"Yes me too! I'm feeling so nostalgic!!!"

What the!!!????!!!!! I checked the scrap to verify the author's identity, still unable to comprehend what had happened!!! 'Freaking Nancy Boy'!!!! (I never said I was a 'politically correct' true gentleman)

Nostalgic about the rains??? In Kolkata?????? How the hell does one say that!!!?????!!!!!!

To shed some light on my extremely adverse reaction to the aforementioned scrap, I was, at that precise moment, very close to being diagnosed with cabin fever. (Refer foot note 1 for details)

The reason or rather, the cause? Nothing serious.

Well, if you can term being stranded at home for almost 34 hours on account of the rain, which some people apparently find nostalgic, 'nothing serious'!!!

"Monster monsoon" read the headline; the article itself carrying a very macabre graphic of a school boy (complete with uniform and knapsack) being steadily submerged by a rising wall of water. That was somehow supposed to demonstrate the 'water-logging' levels at various times of day in the city.

For over-imaginative people like myself, there was a small disclaimer at the bottom explaining that the situation depicted in the graphic was imaginary based on actual rainfall statistics.

Phew!!!!!!

For those extremely fortunate ones, who are as yet, unaware of what 'water-logging' denotes, imagine yourself immersed in waist-deep (which reaches a level of 'neck-deepness' once a vehicle manages to drive by) water, which I am sure, if analysed chemically. would turn out to be more than a mere compounding of hydrogen and oxygen molecules.

For someone who's been born and brought up in this city, events such as 'water-logging' and 'load-shedding' are as common and familiar as the rising and setting of the sun. However, this year's monsoon had, by its fourth week, turned out to be a royal 'pain-in-the-you know what'.

In one of the many attempts to sensationalise the pathetic situation in the city, one newspaper had measured the day's rainfall in buckets!!! Apparently, close to 3000 million buckets had been poured onto the streets in a little more than three hours. And then it went on to quote the local meteorological head honcho as saying, "If it hits with full force, the city will drown".

That was comforting. I imagined calling up my client and telling them, "Sorry, can't make the flight, I might drown in a few hours..." I'm sure they would understand!!!

After spending the entire morning making close to 3000 million calls in an attempt to re-arrange my schedule which had been ravaged by four feet of water outside my door, I resigned myself to the fact that I couldn't do anything to alter the current scenario and so, decided to lay back, relax, and have some tea while listening to the waves lapping at my doorstep.

In case you have not realised, this is a 'live' post, my first one till date. It's started raining again and I've just realised I don't know how to swim!!!!!!!

So I hope you won't mind if I excuse myself and start googling "Free online swimming lessons - crash courses"!!!!!

The End (well hopefully not literally!!!!!!!!!!)

Notes:

1) Cabin Fever ~ Refer 'The Shining' (foot note 2)

2) The Shining ~ Refer foot note 1